8 Reasons Why You Should Stop Pleasing Others and Start Taking Care of Yourself! Therefore, stop. Finally, I would encourage you to consider the impact that your actions may have on someone who is asking a favor if you aren’t at your best. Instead, honor yourself and help others from the authentic core you have, and politely decline when you know there are other uses of your time that need to be respected first. They please others but yet they don’t put other people first. Start creating boundaries with toxic family members who constantly put you down or try to control you. Set boundaries so that others don’t take advantage of your kindness or inability to say “no.”. INFPs, for instance, are typically known as healers, constantly seeking the best in others, and account for only 4-5 percent of the U.S. population. Unfortunately, however, this genuine kindness from us INFPs can sometimes be perceived as naivety or weakness, which can lead to folks taking advantage of us. Always saying the “right thing” or agreeing seems to be well-intentioned, but not being true to yourself means that you are untrustworthy. People-pleasers are like chameleons, always trying to blend in. You should make yourself a priority. You are good at mirroring other people and suppressing anything that may be taken as contrary to a given situation. You stop taking care of yourself. Using this framework, you can weigh the favor you have been asked against the alternatives that you may be passing up. It’s when you focus on pleasing other people around you rather than pleasing yourself. And you are afraid of being disliked and cut from the group. One of the most powerful ways to empower INFPs to say “no” is to keep in mind the fact that each “yes” is a “no” to something else. The best way to do this is to be a people-pleaser. The Stages a Narcissist and an Empath Go Through In Romantic Relationships, Faithfulness is So Much More Than Just Not Cheating. 3. Say no in a way that feels good to you, but in a way that is strong. This mindset will allow you to keep steadfast in your direction and politely defer requests when your time is hard to come by. Written with love and enthusiasm, her articles inspire readers to broaden their knowledge of the world, think and get ready to act. Though I run this site, it is not mine. Sharon writes a popular blog called Happily Imperfect for PsychCentral.com and is the author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism: Evidence-Based Skills to Help You Let Go of Self-Criticism, Build Self-Esteem, and Find Balance and several ebooks including Navigating the Codependency Maze. I encourage you to work with a therapist or doctor. That’s us. You’ll create co-dependent relationships. That’s exactly what I’m going through but couldn’t find the words to fully express what it is that I’m experiencing. Required fields are marked *. You stop taking care of yourself. 5. You have helped by validation of my feelings thank you. “Selfless” to them doesn’t mean disregarding themselves. What is the difference between cartomancy and tarot card readings? But, the truth is that it can only make you completely dependent on their goodwill. We have finite amounts of time and energy, and by constantly filling our plate with things and others’ needs, we run out of space. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Find somewhere quiet, where you won’t be distracted or interrupted, and list all of the things that you’ve done over the past three to six months that you didn’t want to do. We see the beauty and potential in almost every situation, and I know at least for me, I have a burning passion to bring those ideals to life in the world around me. And trust me – some people will be easily tempted to walk all over you. By focusing on other people’s feelings, needs, desires, and problems, you stress and wear yourself out.

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